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12-Step Programs: Working Toward Freedom from Addiction
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012
 Our libraries and book stores are filled with books on addiction and treatment centers have materialized in cities across the globe; addiction has touched the lives of most people.
Therapists’ phones are ringing off the hook because addiction is causing incredible pain in many families across the nation. Books, treatment centers and doctors all have a role to play in the process of recovery. The disheartening truth is that all the education in the world will not eliminate the obsession of the user. Self knowledge alone will not keep us clean nor will it help the family member to find solace in their quest for healing.
However, most these avenues of treatment will introduce the client to the 12-Step programs. In my first blog I talked about the programs of Alanon and Naranon. These programs are essential for family members and friends of the addict. I want to emphasize to parents the importance of embracing the 12-Steps into your own lives.
Intervention and rehab centers are important components in the treatment of addiction and can be important stepping stones in the pursuit of finding freedom from addiction, but they do not equal recovery. They are external support systems; the steps will be the channel to internalize this important information. There is a saying in the 12-Step arena that the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel.
Today, there are hundreds of 12-Step programs based on the original 12-Step concept launched by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935. The steps are basically the same for each of these programs, except for the first step, which begins with, “We are powerless over….”
You can fill in the blank with “drugs,” “alcohol,” “food,” “gambling,” etc. I use the word “addiction” when referring to this step, because it encompasses all unhealthy obsessions.
The experience of working and living the steps can be as varied as those seeking recovery, and belief in a theistic god or God Itself is not a requirement. Spiritual principles work for the agnostic as well as atheist. The process simply asks us to believe in something, some Higher Power that we will be willing to let guide us on this journey of healing.
Sponsorship is highly suggested in all 12-Step programs. When asking someone to be your sponsor, you look for someone who reflects in life what you are seeking. This person will guide you through the step process—someone you can call in a time of confusion, someone who you trust spiritually.
Each of the steps contains certain spiritual principles. Some 12-Step literature emphasizes the HOW of the program. This acronym refers to three basic principles: Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. There is a deliberate order and harmony in the way that each principle is placed, practiced, and ultimately lived within the 12-Step process. As we work these steps, our lives begin to change. We are transformed by these principles from the “inside out,” and as our spirits heal and grow our material lives are positively changed.
The serenity that is spoken of so highly in 12-Step fellowships flows outward, attracting others who seek it out. We write out each step, identifying what the step means to us and how it applies to our lives today. This process is like when a Zen master gives his student a Koan to figure out, and solve in their life. The most famous example of these playful, mystical riddles would surely be, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” The student then meditates on this phrase (or step) to come up with what this means personally and spiritually in their present life.
Since our spiritual journey involves constant change, we continue to grow by working the steps over and over again, each time on a different issue and at a deeper level. The journey of the steps mirrors our lives, and their meanings change with us over time. The principles that occur as we work and live the steps are quite simply directions. Like points on a compass, they tell us where to go, directing our lives into a place of wholeness and fulfillment. I believe this profound personality change has to be ongoing. To assure our transformation continues, I suggest to the people I sponsor to keep their practice of the steps ongoing. The steps save our lives, and then they change our lives. We, in turn, show the next person how we did it. Ideally, this process of spiritual growth never ends.
When addiction enters our lives, either through our own use or that of a family member, it can cause enormous confusion and pain and turn life as we know it upside down. The spiritual path of the 12-Steps is not always easy, but the willingness to practice the steps will begin to soften our attitude toward addiction. Compassion and understanding will begin to fill the void that anger and resentment used to occupy.
As we begin to witness our lives and those around us change, we come to see that our greatest challenges are often the introduction to a deeper compassion, engendering our view of life with a new sense of vision.
Posted by Tom Catton | Filed under Acceptance, Addiction, Finding Treatment, Hope, Recovery, Self-reflection, Taking Care of Yourself, Treatment
18 Comments on “12-Step Programs: Working Toward Freedom from Addiction”
Eric says:
May 3rd, 2012 at 6:10 pm
It has been noted by many reputable treatment providers, researchers, and people in recovery that the 12-step approach simply doesn’t resonate (or work) for everyone. What alternative approaches and/or organizations would you recommend for these folks?
Steve Castleman says:
May 3rd, 2012 at 8:31 pm
Addiction is a brain disease of the Limbic “reward” system, which is not only involved in the experience of pleasure, but is also central to learning, memory, decision-making and motivation. Neuroscientists say addicts make bad decisions because their brains’ decision-making apparatus malfunctions.
What neuroscientists have found in studying addiction also validates the approach taken by 12-Step programs.
For a website that discusses the science of addiction in accessible English (what makes it a chronic, progressive disease; what parts of the brain malfunction; why that malfunction results in addict behaviors; how addiction skews decision-making and motivation; why some get addicted while others don’t; how treatment works; why relapse is common; why love and social support are therapeutic; what families can do; etc.) please click on http://www.AddictScience.com.
There are non-12-Step programs as well, including SMART Recovery, S.O.S. and Women in Recovery.
Deborah Stuart says:
May 4th, 2012 at 5:49 am
Another program is called Hunger for Healing which is a book/video series, which assists parents as well as the addict themselves to be healed of their addictions. Yes, it is difficult for everyone to watch their child struggling with any addiction, but we can share in their steps to recover. Within the last 6 years my son went through recovery and is now in the Army/National Guard. So I know that there is hope through the 12 steps. We have to be willing to overcome any dependencies we may have along with them. I went through the above program last year. The series was led by a gentleman who is a member of AA and our church. The healing was the most deepest emotional release I have ever experienced. I recommend it to anyone who may have a person in their life whom is dependent either on substances or anything that can take their focus off of enjoying the positive well-being parts of life. God’s Blessings, Always.
Deborah Stuart says:
May 4th, 2012 at 5:59 am
No matter what our dependencies are, we owe it to ourselves and our families to be healed through taking the 12 steps with our loved one(s). Spiritual healing is deeper and is inter-locked with the psychological changes that we experience. So do yourself a favor and be healed with the person that is addicted in your family and take the journey with them. God’s Blessings, Always.
Pati Herndon says:
May 4th, 2012 at 7:42 pm
I really appreciate your post, Tom. Thank you for the inspiration that your sharing provides us all. Keep up the great work!
I appreciate your comment comment, Eric. I have found in my journey, as the parent of wonderful son in long term recovery, as well in my addiction-related advocacy work, and in my education in the field of counseling that there are, still, quite a number of individuals/groups who exhibit a posturing that I would describe as a kind of ‘quiet defense-ivty/insecurity’ at even the mere mention of alternative, non twelve 12 programs for recovery.
Frankly speaking…If this kind of negative response were not disturbing, I would likely file it under curiously amusing.
I have encountered, on more occasions than I am comfortable with, this flawed philosophy of, “the 12-step program is the only program needed for restoration of ‘sanity’ (even use of that particular wordage carries stigma in today’s culture)…”and, if you fail with the 12 step program, then, it’s because you didn’t follow the steps”.
Unfortunately, for those who are responsibly applying/sharing (and there are loads of them) the intended philosophies of 12 twelve step, there are those who do not. I can imagine that as being frustrating for the scores of people who have found 12 step facilitation to be such a help to them, and to others they know.
The above noted attitudes/phraseologies are ones that i encounter on a fairly regular basis ‘out-there’ in the recovery community. I also hear similar accounts/feedback from colleagues in advocacy, from parents/family members, and from individuals who are challenged by addiction to alcohol or drugs. They report getting the same spirit of exclusion when they bring up the merits of other programs and/or mention that 12 step was not a good fit for them, or someone else they know.
It’s not difficult to alert yourself or others to this exclusivity issue in recovery. By bringing up an alternative to 12 steps and then just waiting, quietly, for response, you’ll pretty much get the information you need as to whether they espouse the healthier philosophy of “Individuals and families are served by the availability of multiple paths/multiple combinations of paths in which to create the foundation for sustainable recovery”.
With some of these ‘one way’ folks, there seems to coincide a kind of attitude of ‘yeh…we don’t mention that there are alternatives to 12 step’. Which, of course, creates the impetus for the majority of us to do just the opposite…and for good reason.
We need to talk about/acknowlegdge all identifiable barriers to recovery. A barrier to reovery can be the deniability that comes in form of not acknowledging that people achieve recovery in many ways. Then our focus, our energy Iindividual and collective)can be invested more wisely toward that of of encouraging all those we care about with substance use disorder to define their own path to recovery.
For the record and in terms of the important subject of service to others in the addiction journey:
As we journey and share the road we are all, by way of our sharing that journey, acting in service to one another. This service to others is a reality that occurs via a multitude of ways, and therefore cannot be attributable to a single source/collective. ‘Truest’ service to a person/heart, related to the journey of addiction, is achieved any time our intent in reaching out is one of support/compassion/encouragement…And this ‘service’aid/help occurs every day, every minute in a variety of ways, by multitudes of folks. Sometimes we are not even consciously aware of that aid/help/service taking place at the precise moment that it does-Which, when ya think about it, is a really cool aspect of the human spirit.
With regard to the subtle and not so subtle deniability of the merit of having a menu of options in recovery; I have absolutely no doubt that we will be seeing less and less of this with the advance of time, neurologically and psychologically based sciences, as well as by the courageous spirit of all of us challenged by addiction.
Neuroplasticity, Family Systems Theory, Cognitive Behavioral Methodologies in facilitating healthy change/sustainable recovery-like that of Motivational Interviewing utilized by the folks at Self Management and Recovery Training (SMART Recovery), as well as other CBT applications, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), ACT Therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Training)etc., WILL continue to be a strong foundation of change/help/support/service to scores of individuals and families. It’s important for me to share that my family was served at a critical point by philosophies/tools rooted in 12 step facilitation. I will always be grateful for that and I share it, often.
Unfortunately, in the 90′s, when my son was diagnosed, AA/NA groups were certainly not equipped to handle the complex psychological process of teen substance use disorder. But, AA was pretty much all there was to lean on in terms of support for our son; though clinical research and efficacy studies were increasing in momentum greatly at the time.
I dove into all of it -all that was available to me. From the hour we placed our son in inpatient treatment after his coming to us and reporting that he had been shown how to ‘huff’ refrigerant by a ‘friend’ in order to achieve a quick high…and that he felt really scared about his choices and needed our understanding and support (stated in his 15 year old frame, of course); I began my own journey to become the best advocate I could possibly be on my sons behalf….on my family’s behalf.
We haven’t done everything ‘right’. That’s impossible. But, probably one of the most important things serving our son’s journey and our family journey came in the form of remebering to practice giving ourselves credit for the hard work we were doing all along the way…And to avoid- as best we could- what we saw as ‘the blame game’. This ‘maturing’ in the journey is a ‘naturally occurring’ byproduct of cognitive behaviorally-based supports -at least, as we experienced it.
At that time, 12 step facilitation was the ‘go-to’ and thus commanded the lions share of attention from the vast majority of those in the recovery community. So, that’s what was recommended. And truth be told, 12 step absolutely works for some folks. But, the drop out rate with AA/12 step facilitation is sizable in the first year. And it’s so very critical to process these kinds of realities as the parent of a teen with a substance use disorder, or as a concerned significant other/family member. We need to be able to process and apply these realities so that we can become really proficient at discernment of those advisements that are a good match… and even more importantly those advisements that are not and/or pose higher risk for our loved one in increasing drug using and other self-harming behaviors.
What applications work for some, in terms of increasing momentum in recovery, are a detriment/dangerous for others -depending on the individual circumstances. We gotta invest in parsing out what does and does not apply to our individual circumstances.
All of us challenged by addiction share a similar road…But,”one size recovery approach will not fit all”.
I will make my own, responsible, informed choice. And, whatever I try that doesn’t yield the results I am seeking, in a reasonable amount of time, I will keep trying ‘something else’ until I see/experience momentum in recovery. That means seeing momentum in my sons recovery, as well as my family’s. That supports hope. Hope is a clinical component in reovery.
This spirit encourages and fosters “self-efficacy” in all of us. And by design, it will also foster a sense of connectedness with others, within our human collective.
I happen to super-charge my journey in increasing ‘self-efficacy’ with a deep faith in God. But, that kind of faith is not everybody’s deal…And not every one utilizes faith to achieve recovery…though I’d argue that belief in our ability as individuals to make healthy change in our lives is always a product of spirituality.
But I know that the God I worship would be disappointed in my demonstrating an attitude- in word or silent posturing- that ‘recovery is reserved for those who believe in a higher power’. Recovery is the right of every human soul.
Sometimes I think the hesitance in some people to acknowledge, embrace, encourage and share the benefits realized through multiple programs in recovery, come from some sort of need to feel better safe/better confident in their decision regarding their chosen path to recovery.
We are served in the journey by acknowledging and encourage the merits of/the life-changing blessing that comes by way of the empowerment of having a ‘menu of sound options’ to choose from…Whether it be 12 Step, a CBT derived program, or any combination thereof that serves to increase health and well being.
May we all keep on keepin’on :0)
Addiction is the journey. Recovery is the destination.
Scott David Wehner says:
May 5th, 2012 at 1:35 am
I am grateful the change of heart has happened inside myself and so many others worldwide.The selfish fears and lack of heartfelt connection is gone with the first word of the first step ( We ). We trust in this process . We are each others eyes,ears,hearts and hands.We do recover to live in freedom from self.
Thank You
Juliet says:
May 7th, 2012 at 2:58 am
Patti Herndon – Nicely said.
Steve Castleman – Re. addicts’ decision-making, I don’t think malfuntion is the right way to describe what’s happening. Also, such decisions may seem bad but they are not irrational. I’m certainly no neuroscientist but I think that’s been proved.
Also,
What neuroscientists have found in studying addiction also validates the approach taken by 12-Step programs
Juliet says:
May 7th, 2012 at 3:15 am
Whoops – clicked on submit too early….
Steve Castleman – you say:
‘What neuroscientists have found in studying addiction also validates the approach taken by 12-Step programs’.
Are you claiming their evidence supports 12 step programs more than others?
I’ve nothing against 12 step programs – anything that helps people gets my vote, but I agree with Patti it’s important to recognise people respond differently to things – i.e. we need a variety of options.
Patti Herndon says:
May 8th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
I appreciate your feedback, Juliet. You bring up some really good topics for discussion. And, truly, anytime we are discussing these topics and issues- with an open mind and hear- we are, in fact, welcoming in the potential for increased insights/progress/momentum -both on an individual/family scale, as well as a societal/collective scale.
Something I have encountered that seems to be fairly common to 12 step is a demonstrated, or implied/inferred generalization that the state of “self” equates to “selfish”. Some folks in recovery (people challenged by a challenged by substance use disorder) even refer to themselves in these self-limiting and stigmatizing terms…”drunks”, “dry drunk” etc..
However well intended, this misguided notion that the development/presence of addiction (maladaptive pattern of coping with drugs or alcohol) is attributable to ‘being a selfish person’ is to somehow fail to recognize the vast scope of empirical evidence citing the biological, psychological, sociological/cultural components that contribute to the development/presence/persistence of addiction.
We are ‘all’ helped along/benefitted in the journey to better health/well being by utilizing ‘person-first terminology’ when communicating about addiction. In other words: We are not acting in service to self or others by referring to ourselves/others as a “drunk”, or a “dry drunk” or a “junkie” etc.. (As a side…I’ve even encountered licensed clinicians, and others working/advocating in the field of addiction, engaging these marginalizing terms. It just astounds me).
Hopefully, as we make our way, we will become increasingly mindful about the stall that can occur in our personal journey in viewing self or others as “a drunk”, “a dry drunk” or as a “selfish person” etc..
I’m not in any way suggeting that we are not, each, entitled to viewing/describing ourselves as acting in ‘selfishness’. We should, though, be really careful (mindful) in the blanket assumption that those people challenged by an addiction are ‘selfish people’. In doing so, we add burden and stigma for so many people who desire change/better health –and that desire is held by pretty much anyone who is challenged by a pattern of using drugs and/or alcohol to cope with their stress/emotions/unresolved family-of-origin issues –even if they’re not expressing/demonstrating that desire in a ways we would like to them to/be more comfortable with.
In order to facilitate resolve/hope/sustainable, healthy change, we need to be able to access our innate belief mechanism. When viewing self, and/or others as ‘selfish people’/’drunks’/junkies etc, there is big risk of creating a barrier/road block with regard to the ability to access and develop a needed, increasing sense of self-esteem and self efficacy.
As Tom Catton so eloquently inspires us: So much of our momentum along the road of recovery begins, and is sustained by, mindfulness. This mindfulness/ ‘conscious awareness’/personal growth is achieved by multitudes in the addiction journey, in a variety of ways. It’s a process that takes as long as it takes.
We can increase the potential in this state of mind and heart, (the kind of state that builds self efficacy), as well as inspire this state in others through consistent encouragement, compassion, and continued learning related to the biopsychosocial components of addiction.
Let’s all keep sharing the road in respectful, open-minded discussion. The Partnership at Drugfree.org is a really good place to help fuel the journey, and expand the view of the road ahead.
Addiction is the journey. Recovery is the destination.
Patti Herndon says:
May 8th, 2012 at 8:42 pm
Sorry for the typos and repeated stuff…I need to proof before I hit submit ;0)
Tom Catton says:
May 9th, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Aloha and thanks for all the comments; whether a huge fan of the 12 steps or some other treatment for the disease of addiction, this blog certainly has encouraged a wonderful dialogue. Since I’m over 40 years clean from a hopeless addiction I only write about my experience which is the 12 steps, hopefully you read the first blog titled Addiction Our Call to a Deep Spiritual Practice.
I would love to make contact with Pattie, if you read this please contact me through email, namastetom@hawaii.rr.com, sending loving kindness to everyone.
Andrew Stephen says:
June 16th, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Nice post, thanks.
Eddie says:
July 28th, 2012 at 12:23 am
Thanks for the post. My family was plagued with active alcoholism and addiction for many years. My brother and I both got heavily involved with drugs and alcohol at a very young age. Luckily we both got clean and sober at a young age. We both got help from a sober living called New Life House. New Life House truly saved our family. I have 8 years of sobriety and my brother has 6. Check out the New Life House website if you are looking for help. http://www.newlifehouse.com
Eliana Stern says:
November 8th, 2012 at 5:21 am
I work with parents to help with parenting their alcohol or drug-addicted child. While I think 12-step programs like Al-Anon are great support, I think that as a parent, we have to go further to help our children build their sense of identity outside of drugs and alcohol and refine the messages we are sending our children about themselves and their drinking or using.
Loving Mom says:
November 27th, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I am searching for help and pray to God all day that my son will find the light and move forward to the life that he has missed so much of, free of addiction. A brilliant, handsome, articulate person, he finds no worth inside of himself and chooses to use to overcome his pain. There are childhood memories I cannot erase from his mind and pain from them that I feel deeply about, and cannot change. I only want him to realize that he is the most important thing in life, not only to me, but to himself and his family.
Kate Bracken says:
December 22nd, 2012 at 7:09 am
I have been blessed with a VERY LOVING & Sometimes tough Family. Really gets me snarly when someone “calls me on my *h%t” But after I have admitted that as usual, I have a part in every interaction in my tiny life – I look at myself. I learned that in the many smarmy, smoky, rooms of AA/NA filled with men & women (who I understood) – AND HAD I NOT HEARD THE LAUGHTER…..NOTICED A WOMAN MY AGE & OLDER SMILING……I doubt I would be here right now. TIP: no matter where you go, who you see, pay, etc…. You have the choice to “take what you like & leave the rest”… Simple.
Peter Srodes says:
December 24th, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I recoverED from alcohol dependence 27 years ago even though I was subjected to the religion of alcoholism at AA. Alcoholics go to a church basement, pray, do the confessional then pray some more. That is practicing the religion of alcoholism. A so called “higher power” is just unethical bait and switch for some invisible god Thingy. While we can be helped by being with others in recovery these religious 12 step programs aren’t suited to rational people. Rational Recovery was a religion free program back then and may still exist. If you switch from drug dependency to relegion dependency you still have a dependency. It’s better to switch to independence. The behaviors you exhibit at any moment are under the control of your current setting. If there is no alcohol or other drugs in your setting then you won’t exhibit drug taking behaviors. Being god free is simply the condition we are in and some of us are honest about it. Try honesty, it’s really easy.
Persephone says:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:57 pm
With all due respect, I can say rather conclusively that the 12 step approach hindered my efforts to recover from addiction rather than helped. I say this not to undermine those who have found these programs effective in their recovery, but for me it does rather hinge on the progressive state of being “in recovery” as opposed to finding an answer to one’s problems and finding oneself “recovered”. There is no room in most 12 step programs for those who do not want to surrender to something “greater than” themselves, and I found that (especially with the younger people I was surrounded with) those who eschewed any sense of spirituality or religious belief system were treated rather insultingly, even condescendingly. As if their atheism was somehow “selfish” and proof of the same supposed selfishness (“self-will”, stubbornness, ego, etc.) that kept them in addiction. I saw many lose hope under this constant insistence upon following this particular system.
I am aware that many are helped by these programs, and my wish is not to denigrate these people. However, sharing my own perspective serves a purpose as well–I would’ve loved to have seen testimonials by people who recovered without the steps when I myself was struggling, to have known that “recovery” would not be a constant state for the rest of my life, nor would being condemned to meetings (if you don’t like them, then being told to attend them lifelong is rather a condemnation). I am free from cravings, but I am also free from constantly focusing on my past addiction now, free from substances, and free from the anxiety of constantly over-analyzing the thoughts in my own head. I had to fashion my own program, but once the drugs were cleared from my system, my brain led me to the right paths (so much for the “your brain is a dangerous neighborhood” business, eh?).
My own method worked for me, it would not likely work for all others facing addiction to drugs or alcohol, but that is rather my point. Bill W.’s path doesn’t necessarily fit everyone either, and for his story to become dogma is a disservice to those who end up paying for treatment and instead of medical help get a rather rote set of ideas based on the ideas of a few alcoholics from the 1930s.
I submit this comment in hope that others who want to recover realize they have the power within themselves, and that if they don’t like what they’re being told in 12 step circles/treatment centers, that they are not alone and that hope is not lost to them.
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