The Key to Dealing with My Son’s Drug Addiction? Setting Boundaries for Myself

Addiction, Dealing with an Addicted Child, Taking Care of Yourself, Uncategorized:

The Key to Dealing with My Son’s Drug Addiction? Setting Boundaries for Myself

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

I am a hard-headed stubborn guy with the propensity to be a control freak. (I hope there are no other fathers out there like me who are dealing with an addicted child.) It took me a long time to learn that my anger was a result of me not being able to control my son’s addiction. Eventually I learned that, at most, I have a small measure of influence with him. And the only real control I have is over my own self.

When Mom and I first began this nightmare of addiction we heard about boundaries. In my mind that was an easy one. Rules are rules; follow the rules and there would be no trouble. But I learned the hard way — addicts have no concept of rules and how they provide structure to society. If parents of an addict rely upon a set of rules to manage their addict’s behavior, they will live in an angry and frustrating world.

My famous directive to my son — and it was usually delivered at the top of my lungs — was: “No Lying, No Stealing and No Drugs. JUST WHAT THE HELL IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT?!!”

I am finally beginning to understand, “just what the hell was so hard about that.” This has caused me more anger and frustration than just about anything else I’ve dealt with about his addiction. With me, anger and frustration nearly always dissolved into me hollering at him and anyone in the vicinity, resulting in more anger and hurt for all. In a hurting family, that is the last thing you need – hurt compounded upon hurt.

I have learned that there is a big difference between rules and boundaries. Rules are easy. Rules are set and everyone follows. Boundaries are not rules. Boundaries help direct your universe when the rules do not apply or are not relevant. My lack of clear boundaries for myself gave me permission and allowed me to justify enabling my son’s drug use. This has probably prolonged his addiction. This is a regret I live with every day.

Boundaries are healthy for you and those surrounding you. I cannot change my addict’s behavior by setting rules. Any success for me in dealing with my son’s addiction is a result of setting good boundaries for myself.

I choose where I want to go – I no longer allow my addict to take me where he wishes to go. In a simplistic form, I can make a rule directed at my son that he cannot use drugs in my home. The reality is that he is an active addict; he will use drugs in my home. I will become angry because he violated my rule. I have a right to be angry, right? Did it make anything better or change anything? No, we are still at square one. I am angry that he is using drugs in my home, and I feel out of control and helpless. He is feeding his addiction. All of this happens because I am trying to control something over which I have no control.

But I can establish a boundary – like this: I do not wish to live in a home were drugs are being used illegally. This actually puts everything on me; there is really no reason to become angry. I now have complete control of the situation and I have several options. I am not trying to control him. I get to decide on the actions in my life.

Boundaries must be set after much calm and reasoned thought. Setting boundaries with my addict in the heat of battle resulted in failure every time. Especially because those “boundaries” (really rules) I thought I was setting were being hollered at him and not being set for me. If you are setting boundaries for yourself and using a calm deliberate approach, success can be more easily achieved and you can control your own actions. That works well with the control freak in me. I set my boundaries to match my values.

To be clear, I do not see boundaries as a solid impenetrable barrier like the Berlin Wall, with heavy life-or-death consequences. I see the boundaries that we set for ourselves more like a rope line. There is a clear demarcation of where we decided we should not go and there is self-imposed security to make sure we know there are consequences for crossing the line. But there may be circumstances that necessitate crossing the line and there may be consequences that you or your loved one has to pay for that crossing.

For example, Mom and I have set a boundary about not visiting in jail because jail is punishment. But, our son is in jail and we went to visit him. Why would we go visit and violate our own boundary? Actually, we went for Mom. Mom had been having bad dreams about Alex and in all of her bad dreams Alex was with all of her dead friends and relatives. She was troubled by this. I’m not sure if she puts much stock in that sort of thing as a premonition or something but she was worried. I just look at it as a dream, but it troubled mom so that troubled me. We visited Alex in jail and the visit calmed her worries and she could once again sleep peacefully. If there are consequences to stepping over our boundary we shall deal with them when and if they arise.

Setting good boundaries for yourself allows you, the loved one of an addict, to bring a measure of control and sanity into a truly insane situation.

Print This Post

Posted by Ron Grover | Filed under Addiction, Dealing with an Addicted Child, Taking Care of Yourself, Uncategorized

I really enjoyed your statement of, “I choose where I want to go – I no longer allow my addict to take me where he wishes to go.” That is a priceless statement.

Here’s something to share with your wife, my family does not refer to our son being in “jail” but prefer to call it “protective custody.”

You sound like a very educated parent and one who has a true passion to help other parents’.

I have answered a parent information/resource line for ten years. I have spoken to over 1500 parents who are in crises due to AOD from all over the country. I do it free, it’s confidential and no, I am not paid anything from anyone. I do it out of passion for parents, like me, who are/were in great pain and fear. So if you, or anyone you know wants to join me and other parents just send me an email at edmondparents@aol.com and I will email you some info.

Ron, this is good advise and very helpful. I will share this with my husband. My son (16) is now in a rehab and will be home soon. We have had rule/boundery issues in the past where we do not allow drugs in our home and the rules were broken and any boundery that we seem to have set, he would find a way to cross the line. I hope that when he returns this will be different and he will be more respectful, however I need some ideas/suggestions on what to do if he starts crossing them again.

i wish i could give a suggestion ,but the best i can say is that you and your husband decide on things that you can live with. would you both be able to say “if you cross this line, we will make it so you cannot drive? or some other consequence. Try and keep personal boundries within reason. Addiction is more than poor choices. Will your son continue to go to meetings? will he come back to anything that could keep him busy?
my heart goes out to you both.
from a mother of an adult drug addicted daughter whos child we watch/lives with us.

Many thanks to Ron for this and your other posts. I will keep reading. This post really speaks to where I’m at now, as one of the millions of mothers (and fathers, most likely) who cannot sleep… thank you for understanding that “Mom” needed to see with her own eyes that your son was “still there.” Also to the comment from emmy above, as to the car keys. Our daughter has put me to thinking on that: why have we NOT taken away keys to what is legally my vehicle? I always thought - he doesn’t need my car to meet his friends and party… he does need a car for school, work, or going to meetings… but I’m realizing that I need to be open to realistic consequences and interventions that have a true, practical effect, not just hot air!

what a great idea; “I no longer allow my addict to take me where he wants to go.” I can’t believe how many times I waited with a coat on, sitting in the chair in the living room for my addict to tell me where she wanted to go. I’d get frustrated and start steaming because I had other things to do. She would pick up on my irritation and then a fight would ensue. I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t considerate of my time! What a fool I was to think she was even aware that I HAD time.

Now I go places when I want - movies or plays or shopping - and I don’t ask her if she wants to go. It saves both of us lots of grief and makes life more enjoyable for me. Addicts are very selfish. If you wait for them to decide where they want to go, they can be surprised sometimes to find you’ve already left! And if she is going somewhere to meet up with a dealer, the last place you want to be is sitting in a car waiting for her.

The more he feels rejected, and is rejected, by you, the more likely he is to continue his addiction.

Punishing your son for being in jail and an addict, by withdrawing your affection, and refusing to acknowledge his existence, is the ultimate rejection. Parental rejection is a form of abuse that leads to drug addiction.

Refusing to see your son in jail, as punishment, is not a boundary. It is a rule: Punish the addict.

It is helpful to set boundaries with some amount of reasonable consideration that there might arise circumstances along the journey that require adjustments in expectation and action.

It may become necessary to contemplate these adjustments so to remain consistant with the kind of support deemed necessary, in each individual case, toward the goal of continued learning, advances in coping and increasing family system growth for all involved in the process of addiction recovery.
The decision making required with regard to the substance dependency of a loved one is beyond difficult, a great deal of the time.Discernments are best made on a case by case basis by parents who are consistently committed to doing their best to do the next right thing. We should all give ourselves, and fellow parents, credit for that kind of dedication, even if some folks don’t approve of our response to our addicted child’s behavior or the consequences of their choices. It is really not up to anyone else to judge the determinations of what action we take, as parents, in regard to our loved ones addiction and the consequences of their choices associated with their dependency. On that subject of decion making…there is no way, considering the degree of difficulty existing with the process of addiction,(a difficulty that only a parent of an addicted child can truly appreciate), that we will as parents do all the right things at all the right times. But we continue to try, don’t we.

Reasonable, firm boundaries certainly help to provide a some sense of security and some amount of predictability pertaining to a condition that is anything but predictable.

It’s always a good idea to bring on board a mechanism of support, such as a phsychotherapist, or other licensed professional who specializes in addiction and/or co-occuring disorders whenever it’s possible for the family to choose that resource.
In addition, utilizing resources such as the Partnership website, or other quality websites designed to educate about drug abuse, substance use disorder and mental health issues increases knowledge about addiction, prevention and early intervention. All of these tools work in concert to help families in the journey toward sustainable recovery and well being.

Your children are blessed that you show such dedication to becoming increasingly healthy in the process by engaging healthy dialogue centered on recovery efforts.

Addiction is the journey. Recovery is the destination. Godspeed in your travels…

Thank you for these thoughts. I have enabled my son for too long and the rules vs boundaries comments have helped hugely. Here is a letter I have just written my son, I hope it helps someone else. I would love any thoughts on it:

14 May 2010
Dearest Ron
I am hugely concerned about your marijuana use. I have seen changes in you over the past few months that lead me to worry about your current and future health and well-being. I love you dearly and can no longer stand by and let this happen without taking action.
In my view, you are suffering from substance abuse with marijuana and this is evidenced by the fact that you are smoking it virtually daily and are unable to have a period of a week, or even a couple of days, without using marijuana at all. I believe you are using marijuana in order to function right now and that is addiction to a substance. I know you also drive under the influence of marijuana.
From reading scientific research I know that there are likely effects of prolonged use of marijuana. I have seen a lot of the following with you recently : anxiety, sleep disturbance, irritability, moods swings, lethargy, explosive outbursts, minimal interaction with me, Jill and the rest of your family, changes in eating patterns, frequent absences from school and now Uni, changes of friends, spending large amounts of money, decrease in other activities. Long term I am worried about impaired brain function, memory loss and respiratory illness.
I believe that you use marijuana as much as you do to lessen anxiety, sleep, de-stress and feel better able to cope. I believe that there are issues that need to be resolved in your relationship with your Dad, and me. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to help resolve these issues – I promise you I will take ownership of things I can be doing better and I ask you to do the same. If these issues aren’t addressed I believe that you will suffer long-term with anxiety and that your health and future relationships will be severely affected.
What I want
I want you to significantly reduce your marijuana use to less than 2 times per week and keep it that way. Preferably I’d like you to give it up completely but I’ve learnt to take baby steps.
What do you want? Do you think your use of marijuana - and the subsequent effect it is having on you - is acceptable and good for you now and in the future?
What I offer to help
Love and support in any way I can
I will support you to take ownership of this problem yourself and to be responsible for your own physical and mental well-being.
Professional support by trained, experienced professionals used to dealing with drug dependency
I will pay for you to attend a gym

My boundaries:
I do not wish to live in a home were drugs are being used illegally
I do not wish to live in a home where people are in bed until midday or later then watch TV all afternoon and evening
I do not wish to continue paying the living expenses of my children if they choose not to work or study
I do not wish to enable my children in any way to use Marijuana and become lethargic, anxious, and unmotivated.
My rules:
You are
• not to have any marijuana on you, in the house, or in your car at any time
• to be out of bed by 9 am each day
• to shower and tidy your room each day
• to work three nights per week at xx
• not to use my EFTPOS card at all
• to have your car serviced by the end of the month
• to have the bumper back on your car by the end of the month whether it is repaired or not

Consequences
My car and parking card will no longer be available to you – including to go to Uni
I will no longer top up your phone
You will hand back the keys to your car after 1 May if the work above is not complete
If you haven’t rectified the situation by 1 June the car will be sold for parts
If your marijuana use continues to be as extreme as it is now I will call in the relevant support from drug and alcohol abuse support centres.
The reason I have raised the ‘car’ issue here is that I think this is important to you and that it’s something you would like to achieve. I believe that decreasing your marijuana use will increase your ability to achieve some of your goals.
I love you dearly. I admire your personal values and respect you as a person. I am extremely proud to call you my son. I believe that you are on a track that will lead you to personal happiness with your dreams and aspirations for your future. However, recently things have begun to change and I can no longer stand by and see you sink deeper into yourself and live a life that is as painful as you have recently described.

My 20 year old daughter has opted out of out patient for the second time. She failed a drug and alcohol test the last time and the programs said she needed to go inpatient. She refuses to do this, saying she can get clean without it. As a result of this, I am no longer allowing her to live in my home, even though she maintains that she is not using. I suspect she is not using her drug of choice, oxycotin, but feels it is ok to drink socially. I am struggling with what other boundaries I need to set. I do let her come over and visit. She has no driver liscense due to a DUI and I know that makes life hard for her. She can get her liscense back next month. I have her car and am thinking of withholding it from her at that time because she is not working a program.

I am sorry you are experiencing this with your daughter. I have experienced exactly the same issue with my son as you are with your daughter now. My son is 22. He had lost his license due to not paying tickets. He is an oxy and heroin user.

Two points, first my experience is that I could not punish my son out of his addiction. I tried and it just didn’t work and others have related the same experience to me.

Secondly, my son had a truck that was titled in my name and was insured on my policy. I came to the realization that he is an active user and if he had an accident legally I could be held responsible. More importantly I know he is a drug addict and if he hit someone in it and hurt them or killed them I didn’t know how I’d live with myself. My solution was that he could have his truck and I would give it to him free and clear on these conditions. He must title, license and insure the truck in his name. Seeing how he had no job and no money if was completely up to him. I parked the truck and locked up the keys. We live in a suburban/rural part of Kansas City and there is no transit system of any kind. His solution was to beg and borrow rides. Everything was his choice.

You must not let your daughter have the vehicle if it is in your name due to legal and moral reasons. If it is in her name unfortunately, you probably don’t have much of a choice.

If you want to read more about our day to day struggle parenting our son feel free to check out our personal blog at: http://www.parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com . Feel free to write any time.

I have been searching all morning for this and you have come the closest to answering my question. I am in the process of setting boundaries with my ex-husband who is a stage 4 alcoholic and marijuana user. We have an 11 year old daughter who has a ton of her own problems to deal with. My ex’s mother insists that our daughter MUST see her dad. She lays a huge guilt trip on him and “forces” him to come see us (we don’t live in the same state, 2 hrs away). She pours him into the car and drives him up here drunk. He shakes and goes straight to bed when he arrives. I fear I’m going to have as much, if not most of my trouble setting boundaries with her as I will setting them with him. She is a HUGE enabler and I am tired of being manipulated by her as much as I am sick to death of his drinking and being so self absorbed. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you

Hello my name is Renee I have a daughter that is addicted to herion. My life for the past three yrs has been difficult to say the least Im at the point where im taking my life back but i have other family members that have not been going thru it with me. I have recently refused her a flop house and she has turned to family members and they are looking at me like a bad mom. only because they have not had to go thru this should i feel quilty? she has been in several rehabs and jail IM SO TIRED! I love my daughter…… and do not have much hope left……Her name
is Michelle she is 20 yrs old.

i have a son 26 that was hurt at work and was given pills to control the pain and guess what he is a drug user now. I fight with him daily, i have paid for suboxine treatment he is doing better then he was a year ago but still using sometimes. I cant continue to live like this. I go to bed thinking of him wake up thinking about him. HE still lyes to me, it has taken over my whole life! I fell like i cant even leave my house because i think if i watch him it will be ok.

I have a 20 year old son, is addicted to many different drugs. Did a 3 week outpatient program, 3 day inpatient, but chose not to stay. He is still living in our home making our lives hell. After reading this website, I’ve learned it is hell because we have had no boundries I suppose. He has had many jobs that only last a couple of weeks at a time, I think long enough to get some money, use the money on drugs, then take the 2-3 weeks to find another job, excuses everytime, we allow him to stay in our home because I cannot bare the thought of him living out of his car that he threatens to do. All I want is for him to get on his feet and out of our home. My husband says it will never happen and wants to kick him out to live in his car, I can’t. I guess I probably need to probe this website more, but from what I read I need a better understanding of boundaries. Am I suppose to allow him to live in our home and just live my life around him and not let him stand in our way of doing the things we want to do? Is this what it is saying, or is setting a boundary mean give him a set timeframe for getting out? We are confused as what we as parents are suppose to do, rock bottom they say…tough love they say. The lies are all the time, he can’t even remember the things he has shared with me in the past, and by past I mean the past 2 months. I don’t even know who he is anymore, how can I put him on the streets? We think if we don’t kick him out our own safety could be jeopardized at some point. At what point will he not pay his debts and seek him out at our home? Nobody deserves this life.

My son is a heroin addict. He refuses treatment of any kind other than 5 days of detox. He hates God and despises any kind of self help meeting or therapy. He has a two and a half year old son and is responsible for monthly childcare payments. I ache for my grandson and his mother who has never been married to my son. My son can not get a driver’s license because of underage drinking. He could not get financial help/medical insurance because of outstanding warrants. He now has two outstanding medical bills from two stints in a detox at the local hospital. I don’t even know if he will ever be eligible for a driver’s license or even some financial aid with his hospital bills.
Will he ever be accepted into a detox again? I know that I can not begin to help him until he stops using heroin. I feel so helpless and cry everyday which helps nothing.
He wants to work and drive. He wants to take care of his son. I know he has to stop using. But secretly, I wonder - does he have a chance in hell to do any of these things with his record of underage drinking and disorderly conduct.
He has already stolen cash from his sister and I suspect he is stealing things and selling them. He is 24 and I am fastly losing hope that he will see 25. I thank you for sharing your stories of your family’s pain and hope for a better tomorrow. Setting boundaries is a helpful concept.
I have to keep myself going and not fall apart. I just feel despair at the moment. Peace to all.

A huge thank you for this article! I am struggling with my son’s addiction to pot and meth. I have tried the tough love thing, yet ran when he wanted to move home for TWO DAYS! Then back he went to his addiction and the girlfriend that supports it and him. Like your wife, I have had terrible dreams that the next time I see my son will be to id his body. Our son doesn’t live at home anymore because the only two “rules” we set was ” No Ghetto Girlfriend and No drugs” in our home. He could not comply, so he chose to move out. Our extended families support/ enable my son to continue his life of drugs by accepting his behaviour. I won’t budge for the sake of my son’s life.

Colleen: After reading your post, it was exactly how i feel and our situation. I am also feeling as though i am the bad mother. I am no longer allowing my son to live at my home after many many warnings to get help. I will not budge either.

I have a son that is an addict and I’ve tried to help him with rehab and other things but he still goes back to using other things that wont get him tested positives when he goes to court. I constantly worry and cry. Wondering if im going to have him the next day. He has stolen thousands of dollars from us and I have decided not to let him come back home. How do I deal with this? He doesn’t call me and let me know he’s ok. I have others checking on him but its not the same. I feel lost without him.

Thank you for all who posted specifically on ‘boundaries’. Ron, your statement about “I choose where I want to go – I no longer allow my addict to take me where he wishes to go” stood out most. I pray it become ingrained into me these next weeks, months, and years to come. I am a mother of two addicted kids. My daughter, 20 and my son, 17. My son has been in a program for well over a year now and has worked a pretty successful program. Although I am very proud of him and his accomplishments, I am trying to maintain a realistic approach to his sobriety upon transitioning home in over a month. It is a peculiar position and emotion, being the mom of two addicts. At times I very much wrestle guilt and shame from my own past choices that have effected my kids. Yet, needed the reminder about boundaries being more about ‘me’ then a set of rules. Currently I am faced with setting some firmer boundaries with my daughter (who is still actively using), as her manipulations have gotten out of control! At the same time, facing my sons transition home.. establishing safe boundaries for myself and him. But also, knowing how to encourage him to stand up for himself, set his own personal boundaries, etc toward his sister. My kids have a very close relationship; therefore I realize these boundaries will not come easy for my son to establish with his sister. I have been going to Al-anon and this is helping quite a bit, but any/all suggestions are welcome. Thanks!

Need more info on setting hnealthy boundaries with a loved onethats an addict. They mainly borrow money that never gets paid back & manipulates when I say no..so I give in…any suggestions would be great. Thanks

First of all, be clear about your own values. Understand within yourself where the lines are in your life and for yourself. That is the start.

Be careful and do not confuse boundaries with rules. A good general guide that I used was a rule usually begins with “You” and a boundary begins with “I”.

Let’s throw out an example. “You cannot use drugs in my house.” This is pretty easy. A rule for your addict. It is your house and you get to set the rules, right? Yes that is right, you get to set the rules. Now what are your options? Well, let’s live in the world of “what is’ versus the world of “what ought to be.” Your loved one is an addict with an active disease, they are going to use drugs. That person has no respect for rules or laws. Your addict is going to use drugs in your home regardless of your rules. Have current rules and laws been effective in curtailing or stopping their behavior? If the answer is no then what do you do and what has been done up to this point that has been effective? The point of this is with these rules you are trying to control someone and something in which you have no ability to control.

“I will not live in a home in which illegal drugs or drugs being used illegally are being used.” This is a boundary statement. First of all this boundary is for someone in which you have total control. “I” is the key component. If this is your boundary then you have choices. If you are in that situation you make a choice. (a)Remove the person using drugs illegally. (b) Remove yourself from the situation. (c) Choose to do nothing.

There are 3 obvious choices and there may be move based upon your own situation but if you notice each of those choices belong to you and depend not at all on changing the behavior of your addict. Boundaries are about YOU not the addict.

As far as money to an addict. If your addict ask you to buy heroin. stick the needle in their arm would you? Enabling and providing cash or any type of item or money to an addict is the same as buying the drugs and shooting them up. Are you willing to give your addict the money for the drugs that kills them? Where should your boundary be as it relates to money?

I hope this helps. You can find more information on my personal blog. It is more about the day to day parenting an addict. My son has been clean since July 2010. If you want to read more about what we went through during his active addiction go back to July 2010. The web address is: http://www.parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com

My son is 18. For one week now he is living in a tent in the woods. He did call on Christmas and came home for about 24 hours. I gave him a choice: Go to rehab and he could stay. He said no. So he went back to his tent. He says it’s not about the “marijuana”, it’s about authority. He doesn’t want anyone telling him what to do. He wants the freedom to stop smoking on his own. I am having a difficult time setting this boundary knowing he is living in this environment. He has 5 months left to graduate, if he does. I feel helpless. I struggle with calling the police and turning him in. How do you know when to intervene and when to let consequenses fall as they would naturally? Ex: letting him get caught on his own. He is illegally trespassing and having pot parties. If I don’t intervene and his drug use escalates or he dies in the woods and I don’t know where to find him? It’s just hard to know what to do?

My son is in a sober living facility. Over the last, at least seven years, he has drained me financially. Now he needs me to pay his rent until he gets a job. I get physically sick when I have to deal with his problems. I know he needs support. But, I am drained. I tell myself I am not going to answer the phone, then I feel guilty and answer it. I do not have kind things to say to him, so I make him feel like crap. Someone help me, please, to know what to do in this situation.

I am two years with my son 24 and my Daughter in-law 22 they started off great kids with dreams they had two joyful boys my grandsons, fab patents they started with oxy now two years latter don’t no what thy are using, they lost my grand kids to her parents thankful to them they lost there home car boys toys sold them for drugs, I m screaming inside every day they are on the streets they call ask for money I say no they text they are going to kill them selfs every day of my live past two years has been controlled by this addiction when they had my grand kids it was money for that now I don’t have to pay to see my grand kids but now it’s I will kill my self, I beg them please go to rehab get off drugs they say they don’t do them,,,,, please help

It is so painful to see someone you love hurt themselves, I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you. Hopefully, your children will want to get help for their addiction, and help is available. While you may not be able to help them right now, you can help and take care of yourself. Here are some support groups for parents who have a child with addiction problems:

I have a 23 year old son who left yesterday walking and drank all night and got beat up. He told me some pretty hurtful things yesterday and today he has sent me a sorry and that he is on the streets. This is not the first time. I feel like if I go get him I am saying it’s ok for him to do this to our family and if I don’t go get him I fear he will die. What should I do?

I hear all of you. My son is 23 and was the perfect son until about 2 years ago when I found out he was doing Oxy’s. I got him into rehab after I threw him out of the house for stealing my medicine after I had neck surgery. He is my youngest. I thought he would never do wrong. My older son (who is a diabete) is now in rehab. It took going to jail and getting court ordered for rehab. I am hoping the same thing happens to my youngest. He just spend a month in jail and I was so hoping that would straighten him up and he seemed so sincere but when he got out he was right back at it. He even Overdosed at his fathers shop and his cousin did CPR and brought him back. If that doesn’t wake you up WHAT DOES???? I am at wits end and I don’t know what to do. I lay in bed each night and plan my sons funeral. I can’t sleep. He is no longer with me. I moved out of my 2 bedroom apt into a one bedroom. He is now with his older sister along with his girlfriend who I am sure is also doing drugs. She is the one that was on them when they met 3 years ago. It makes me sick….I don’t know how much more I can mentally take. Thanks for listening and any advise I would appreciate. I have 4 children and 3 are drug addicts. The youngest one is the most active. Thanks so much.

My son is an addict. I having difficulty processing my emotions of being scared and angry.

	Drugfree.org Time To Act!© 2012 The Partnership at Drugfree.orgThe Partnership at Drugfree.org does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. More.