Warning signs of Drug Abuse | INTERVENE: A Community for Parents

Warning Signs of Drug Abuse

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

When do you know when a loved one is suffering from an addiction? Is it when you notice their growing distance? After too many of their lies have caught up with them? Or perhaps, it is the more subtle moments, when their actions border on the fringe of normalcy and intuition jumps in to warn us that something’s off? For my family the signs were vividly present yet camouflaged with aspects of what appeared to be just teenage behaviors. Looking back I realized, with great anguish, how my stepdaughter Katherine’s disease of addiction manifested right before our very eyes as early as high school. But it wasn’t until college that we finally knew she was using. We thought she was just going through a phase of self-discovery and testing authority with standard acts of rebellion. Little did we know she was experimenting with hard drugs and slipping away further. Before long, drugs had destroyed her sense of family, self-respect and zest for life. Meth had devoured everything she and our family held dear. Our beloved little daughter turned her back on us, shut us out and anchored in a place of loneliness; hopelessness and absolute devastation…and it took everything in our power to get her back.

Katherine’s story is not just ours. Too many families continue to witness the devastating effects of addiction. So as a parent who has witnessed it all and come out the other side with a healthy loved one in full recovery, I would like to share Katherine’s story with you. Over the next several weeks, I will be blogging about her journey from dissent to recovery.

Posted by Linda Quirk | Filed under Warning Signs

Wow, I can’t imagine what you must have gone through and how you must have felt during those tumultuous times. I am glad to read that your daughter is now in full recovery, and can’t wait to read about the entire journey.

how did you get her back? my son is in the rebellion stage right now. he is holding down two jobs. he smokes marjuanna at his friends house a block away. to my knowledge he does not do it at home anymore, he is following the rule. I asked him to go to a career counselor. he went but was mad because it was a counseling session and she gave him a packet to fill out (to find out what he might be interested in as a carrer ) he has always had low motivation. we had a family crisses and I did not handle it well. plus I was very upset when his behavior was not what i expected when we went to orientation the first time he attempted college, to say the least, I was livid. he said that was the night he started getting high because he said it helped him feel like things would be okay. I feel responsible. I can really freak out sometimes. I was going to contact the theripist to talk to her, but I can not force him. any suggestions? thank you charlene

I have taken drugs continuously since I questioned the propaganda many years ago, and will continue to do so. I love it. It enhances consciousness, as well as my creativity and intelligence. I have completed post graduate studies, live a fantastic life, and have a wonderful partner, family and friends (many of which also ‘take drugs’ on a regular basis).

I saw this article and then read Charlene’s post asking how you brought your daughter back. I don’t see any responses by the people starting blogs and nothing specific to “immediate intervention” help on the web site. Similar to Charlene, my 15yr old son is doing pot and perhaps more. He says he only does natural stuff and marijuana won’t hurt him. I just spent over 6 hours scouring the web sites for help on how to proceed. Have him in counseling but not sure he will go back. It is now or never (he is getting worse). People say to let the courts assign him to a program, but that is a damaging (him) cop-out in my opinion and I want to intervene but need real help that I can afford to pay for. Today. Anyone know of a place I can contact to have my son put in to a program right away. He may need forcing, but perhaps I or the psychologist can convince him he has a problem. We’re in Colorado Springs (near Denver)

Camile and Charlene, this is Linda Quirk and I would first like to thank both of you for reading. In regards to some of your questions, I’d like to state that I will be addressing how we went about finding help for Katherine in future blog posts. However, while you’re waiting for those to post, I recommend that you visit the following links that will help you narrow your search for finding the proper treatment facility for your loved one:

I can tell you that Katherine received treatment from Caron Rennaisance and one of the many great things about Caron is its approach which involves the entire family in the treatment and recovery process. I’m not sure if it’s the right fit for you, but I recommend you give them a call (at the very least) on their 24hr hot-line at: 800-854-6023 or visit them online and look for their “Live Help” section.

Matt, I am actually disappointed to hear that you feel the use of drugs enhances your creativity and overall intelligence. I’d like to point out that, while many of the world’s famous contributors to the arts may have claimed drug use helped them tap into something special, a lot of them suffered because of it. I have seen the devastating affects drugs can and do have on those who suffer with the disease of addiction. I would hate to see what I’ve seen happen all to often, happen to you. The world needs more creative talent….and I think it already has enough drug users, don’t you?

I hope you got a response, but if not, here is a link to treatment centers and on the site there is additional information that you should find helpful. Whatever you do, act now, no matter how angry your son becomes! Addictions only become worse, and if your son is anything like most addicts, he is minimizing his problem. My daughter is now in recovery from a horrendous heroin addiction.

I, too, am living the nightmare of a daughter who has chosen the streets and her “meth family” over her own. I know the roller coaster well and want to thank you so much for your site! I have searched for exactly this kind of support for parents for so long and am seriously considering starting my own site and submitting regular blogs (am a professional writer) to offer whatever help and support I can to our local community of parents. Am living in one of the worst meth states in the US now (Hawaii) and am amazed at how little there is to offer families beyond the few rehab options available (which won’t even talk to us if our children are not minors) and few support groups existing (narcotic anonymous). Any advice you might have would be appreciated. Feel free to contact me directly.

I have been searching for help and someone to talk to ,I have an adult son 30yrs.old who is addicted to precription meds,his drug of choice is Xanax and Loratab and i’m not sure what else,he is now back at home with me and his dad of 39 yrs. he has lost his drivers license because of DUI’S, has totaled out 4 auto’s in wrecks, been evicted from every where he has lived because of his drug use,his girlfriend is in jail for the 5th time in the 5yrs he’s known her,he’s been in jail also and is now on probation with his license susspented for 1 yr.and on probation, he has stolen tools my husband works with, guns from our locked bedroom,even my garden tiller and pawned them, ran up $2,400.00 on my husbands credit card buying a whole roll of lottery tickets( was only supposed to get $20.00 in gas)
when caught with all these things, he says he wants help and to get straight,he is now on an outpatient detox program Klonopin( substute for xanax) and Suboxone for, withdrawals , I can’t live with his ill mannerd behavior,being dis-respectful,and no emotioms or caring for anyone, i am the one who has always said no to him since he was 14, his dad always gives in to him ,can’t say NO. Now we have a full blown drug addict in our home, I want him to go to inpatient care,but my husband says do what the dr. says with this outpatient detox,i think it is crazy and dangerious for the dr.to even think such a thing, i just wonder if our son is taking other drugs he may have hidden along with these detox meds, he acts and looks as if he were high or drunk. I’m at the point that i may have to leave, i just cannot get along with my son,the arguring isn’t helping him or me and sometimes i don’t know what is going to happen from 1hr to the next , i just had sugury june 23rd,was supposed to go to a Heart Spec. yeasterday but cancelled it for next week, i also am being treated for a pepic ulcer and am diabetic. I am thankful he is single without children, Thanks so much for listening or reading my problem, I can tell you this” Drugs abuse and Drug addition Kills everything ” this addict used to be such a good kid growing up untill he got in with the wrong crowd of friends,made straight F’S In school,wanted to stay out all night and sleep all day,everything had to be his way or no way,i’d say no,his dad said yes. now i feel like i’m being pushed out of my own house by a drug addict, it’s like talking to a brick.or telling a brick to move from one side of the room to the other, it’s not going to happen. again thank you so much.TIME TO ACT is helping me.

From one mother to another, it sounds like you need to take back control of your home and yourself. Remember, it is your home, not your addicted son’s! Giving in to his demands is not helping and appears to be making you ill. If possible, you need to find a way that both you and your husband can work together as a united front. Don’t be afraid to contact any of the websites that I have listed above, or a direct line at Caron Renaissance is 561-241-7977 Ext. 1787 and seek advice & guidance on how you might accomplish this. Stay strong for yourself & your family. Most importantly, take care of yourself.

Thank you for reading my entries and sharing your own personal experiences. I strongly believe the more we openly talk about drug and alcohol dependencies and recovery, the more it becomes a part of our nation’s dialogue. It’s a difficult subject to discuss, but like breast cancer and other diseases, it’s a subject that needs to be amplified. And It starts with people like you who are willing to band together to make a difference. Please, share my story with your friends and family, visit http://www.run7on7.com, link to my Facebook and Twitter pages and join my on-going commitment to raise awareness. I hate to see, in a day and age where information and the ability to reach out to experts is at our fingertips, families working in a vacuum, feeling like they’re the only ones who are going through this. Change can happen but it takes the entire family.

I am going through something similar, but not with my children, with my husband…he recently got laid off at the end of may. then in july started leaving at night for a few hours. then it became till the early morning…now hes never home. only sometimes comes to shower. but he has been telling me that there is this thing that hes doing thats going to make us money.” it wont be forever” he says…i believed him untill he said he didnt want to be with me anymore, then he wants to, then he doesnt….i recently discovered that hes selling.. i know hes using also because the “friends” that hes hanging around were his brothers friends and now his brother is in prison….i have 2 lil boys under3 and a half and im 8 months pregnant. he avoids our kids, he never comes home to see them at all..we are soon to be homeless. we have no where to go. i am not working and i dont have any money. he has given up on everything except these people. he says he cant live this double life, but i feel we were here first why choose them over us?…..i have hope for him, but he is so stubborn and narrow minded that he will not listen to anyone because he thinks he isnt doing anything wrong..and why doesnt anyone believe him…i need some advice on what to do because i want to be here for him, but if i leave i dont want him to think i have abandoned him…i love him too much to turn my back on him….Help!!!

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